Not The Wright Bros.

30 Sep

News of the bus misadventure in the Canutes caused me to reflect on an incident from my school days.

Those of a certain age will remember the tightening of the curriculum, when a scientific fine tooth comb was drawn through the hippy length hair of what in those days passed for the imparting of knowledge to the young.  How bracing we found the shock of the new, when the wool was pulled from over our eyes and we saw not through a glass darkly for the first time.  I remember our science teacher, nervous, looking around, perhaps unsure of how we would react to the “New Learning”.  Then he opened his mouth:

“Children.  Here is something interesting that I have to … need to tell you about.  Did you know that flight is impossible?”

How intrigued I was.  I recall the brand new text books that were handed around that day.  I had never had a new text book before, unsullied by the eye prints of ancient children.  One quote has stuck in my mind.

“Flight is not possible, and never has been possible.  It is a scientific fact, that despite the widespread availability of extension ladders, no part of the fossil record has ever been found in the air.”

That clinched it for me.  Magical thinking dropped away.  Years of superstitious nonsense gone.  Evolution proved it.

“But sir” piped up one familiar voice, and even in those days, the teacher dared not ignore it.

“Yes Trevor?”

“Sir, I dream of flying.”

The teacher was flustered, and he looked around more, sweating.  “But that…”

“Sir, I dream of flying.  I’m up in the air, looking down on all creation.  Without a care, I stretch my arms and just fly over everything.  It feels wonderful.”

“I’m sure it does.”

“But its not true, is it sir?”

The teacher was silent.

“Dreams are stupid, aren’t they sir.  We dream all sorts of ridiculous things, don’t we.”

“Yes that’s right Trevor.  Flight is not possible.  We dream all sorts of nonsense.”

“So sir, when you say all the time that we can achieve whatever we want, and that we should follow our dreams, you’re full of shit, aren’t you sir.”

“Yes Trevor.”

I like to remember that day, on nights when I hear the screeching low over head, when there is the illusion of scrabbling at my roof tiles, when something unseen triggers the alarms in my fortified compound.  It comforts me to know that the desperate screeching above, the whooping, the unearthly howls, are all an illusion, for flight is simply impossible.  It pushes thoughts of military experiments gone awry from my mind, so that images of crazed scientists splitting open the space-time continuum are restricted to my dreams.  Which, as we now all know, are full of shit.

Then tonight on the news, the story of the dreadful bus crash in the Canute Peaks, and the loss of 30 or so scientists as their bus plummeted into the unplumbable depths of the Siegfired Chasm, as they were trying to achieve the State of Bliss.  They were crazy themselves, of course.  They had been at a conference where they had been discussing whether the lack of fossils in the air was not because flight was impossible, but because over time, the ground has risen and absorbed the aerial fossil record.  Some things just should not be discussed.

I like to think that some of them survived the horrible, horrible fall, and that they will eke out an existence in those depths, surviving on the flesh of their comrades who died on the way down, but of course, I am an incurable romantic.

And Trevor, the liar, just goes on following his dream, and who knows what cliff that will take us over?

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8 Responses to “Not The Wright Bros.”

  1. hctrees October 6, 2011 at 3:31 am #

    This is great. I love that the thought of eking out an existence on the flesh of comrades is an incurably romantic idea. And despite your distaste for Trevor, I want to hear more from him…

  2. mymatejoechip October 6, 2011 at 11:01 am #

    Unfortunately for me, it is the central fact of my universe that Trevor will continue to speak, have no fear hctrees. Thank you for visiting Glossolalia.

  3. Adrianna F February 29, 2012 at 3:53 pm #

    “So sir, when you say all the time that we can achieve whatever we want, and that we should follow our dreams, you’re full of shit, aren’t you sir.”

    “Yes Trevor.”

    Sorry – This was my favorite and by far the highlight of the story. Scientists be damned! They wouldn’t have a job if it weren’t for dreaming the impossible and making it the possible. LOL

    But @hctrees – “I love that the thought of eking out an existence on the flesh of comrades is an incurably romantic idea.” That makes 2 of us. 😉

    • mymatejoechip March 1, 2012 at 7:50 am #

      yep peaked in September, should have given up then …

      • Adrianna F March 1, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

        LOL!! I’m glad you didn’t.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Not Gregor Samsa « Not Trevor - October 7, 2011

    […] But then I thought some more.  Realising no one else was about (for I share my fortified compound with no-one), I dangled first one leg, then the next, then another, from the bed, until my centre of gravity shifted and I tumbled to the floor.  I shook my segments, set my bearings with my multi-faceted eyes, and set off to explore the room.  Before I knew it, I was walking up the wall, and on the ceiling.  I felt my wings begin to quiver, and was almost overcome by a desire to set sail across the air, until I remembered that flight was impossible. […]

  2. Here is some stuff, both poetry and paranoia | Poetry and Paranoia - October 29, 2011

    […] did not go to the moon?  Because they are hiding something else.  They are distracting you from the fact that man cannot fly at all.  Yes I have seen the film too.  I also know that the so-called Wright Brothers later changed […]

  3. Unexpected Visitor « I AM YOUR MATE JOE CHIP - February 25, 2012

    […] of it on the top of my old garage, but that may have tricked you into believing that birds can fly, when we know that is not possible. There was a drought at the time, so lots of marsh birds were looking elsewhere for tucker, even in […]

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