Not Colonel Klink

9 Aug

I have recently become aware that an individual of my acquaintance wears spectacles made of plain glass. Yes, a disability aid as a fashion item. Knowing this man as I do (I shall not name him, oh ok its Mephisto), I am sure that he would mock Colonel Klink mercilessly for his wearing of a monocle. I assume that the world has now passed through and beyond the era of persons with only one bad eye, for I have never seen a person with a monocle in real life. (I have seen just a few people with eye patches, so I suppose there are people with one really really bad eye. I knew a fellow, ok, Moloch, whose eyes stared in different directions. One never knew where to look when trying to look him in the eye, and it was quite frustrating as there is an inexpensive surgical procedure that can deal with that sort of thing. However, I am embarrassed as it was recently revealed to me that Moloch had a glass eye. I hope it was the one that didn’t look at you. So it remains that there are a number of people who only have one working eye, but if there are people who have one partially working eye, they have obviously found a substitute for the monocle that they have not shared with me.)

I was as you would expect outraged and disgusted and thought of beating Mephisto to a pulp for such a thing. On reflection, this is not the first affectation of an unnecessary physical aid.  Walking sticks were once a fashion item, with whole industries built up around them, yet generally, they were unnecessary for walking. I recall on the Wolfman that a gentleman with a silver headed cane was able to beat off an attacking werewolf, however the use on that sole occasion hardly justifies the wholesale adoption of a walking stick as an accoutrement.
Gangsta rappas of course had blingish braces, but given their age and the fact that the entire population of North America wears braces, I am not convinced they were unnecessary, though perhaps unnecessarily adorned. I am not aware of anyone wearing a hearing aid as a fashion accessory. Nor am I aware that one can purchase a non-working wheelchair, or a purely cosmetic colostomy bag. Perhaps superfluous pacemakers are widespread, but how would we know, and what would be the point? Neck braces? Artificial limbs? Surgical scars? Papier mache iron lungs?

In a world of such dishonesty, is it any wonder that Trevor thrives?


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