Not Fidel

6 Aug

Trevor could not grow a beard to save his life. No doubt he could command a forest of filth to sprout from his face, misleading millions who like that sort of thing into falling into his pit of corruption, but it would not be a beard, not as I define them.  Simply a hairy abomination.
A beard does not suit everyone. I have experimented with beards from time to time (my own, not my friends’, that would not be right) and while I have appreciated the results, I generally prefer not to be defined by facial hair. We are not all Fidel. I sometimes wonder (such as I did this morning walking back home with the shopping) whether Fidel wishes he was not Fidel, that he was someone else. “I shooda been Che” perhaps he thinks, coughing up chunks in his nursing home each time he drags on a cigar, secretly hoping to see blood. Glorious moments in the revolutionary sunshine, then rat a tat tat, all over. Not the tiresome drudgery of singlehandedly running a command economy. Not the bothersome task of overseeing political prisons. Not the irritation of having to keep 1940 vintage vehicles in operation to spite the US blockade.  So, after not bothering to shave over some holiday break, do think twice before deciding “I’ll leave it like that” before you return to work.
I wonder what Che would think, if he could survey the world today. “Why has that stupid ugly loser bourgeois git got my face on his t shirt?” would rank high among his posthumous thoughts, I suspect.  (Or rather, a Central American Spanish analogue of same – see “Not the Marquis de Lafayette”.)


7 Responses to “Not Fidel”

  1. greatlakessocialist October 19, 2011 at 3:36 am #

    Went to an opening of an art gallery last night. It was lovely, save for the fact that some petit bourgeois teen was wearing a Che T-Shirt simply for the fact that “it looks cool” and he “got it free with a poster”, he didn’t agree ideologically with the man at all.

    Reprehensible and ridiculous

  2. mymatejoechip October 19, 2011 at 8:44 am #

    “free with a poster” – classic

    • greatlakessocialist October 19, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

      And the kid is irritating too. The type of guy that starts to be abrasive about ten seconds after you meet them, rather than going through the traditional period of niceties.

      I can have a nice whimsical chat with most strangers/acquaintances, but it isn’t long into a conversation before this character starts coming up with baffling, yet undeniably brilliant rapport concerning “yo mamma’s chest hair”


  3. mymatejoechip April 23, 2012 at 11:01 pm #

    Reblogged this on 6th Proletarian Anarcho-Lotto-Syndicate and commented:

    Why isn’t North Korea arming Cuba? Lets face it, NKs missiles are pretty crappy. If they used Cuba as a base, their shoddy projectilves would not have as far to travel. And they could just drop them off while one of their tankers is doing a meth run to the States. Hmmm, perhaps someone has thought of this before. Is it the Republicans trying to deny Obama his JFK moment?

    • quirksandcuriosities April 25, 2012 at 5:59 pm #

      no missiles in cuba, please, at least not until I’ve made arrangements to not live in the continental United States.
      Those Che tshirts are pretty dreadful, but not nearly as dreadful as the asshats who wear them without knowing anything about him. Then again, as my advisor said once in class “Che was hot.” [professor in question is a good queer mostly-socialist, speaking sarcastically]
      It is true that Che was hot, but that is no reason to wear his face on a tshirt if you actually *disagree* with his politics, even if the shirt IS free with a poster.

      I wonder what the poster was of?

      Is it possible that the Beard of Fidel is the reason for his apparent immortality?

      Communists and revolutionaries (and communist revolutionaries) aside, from a purely straight-girl aesthetic perspective, the proliferation of bearded young men is a sign of end times. As a general rule to most men: you look better without the beard.

      • mymatejoechip April 26, 2012 at 9:36 am #

        1. they’re just too lazy to shave – and generally, to wash
        2. they should sell arse hats, they’d look good with Che shirts – thats it, I’ll be an entrepreneur – also going to sell flags with “flag” written on them, so they can be flown anywhere
        3. I think the beard must be wearing off, he’s about to start spitting those bloody chunks
        4. there are missiles a lot closer to you than Cuba
        5. cheerio


  1. My mate Joe Chip tells: how I lost my virginity to JFK … « 6th Proletarian Anarcho-Lotto-Syndicate - February 18, 2012

    […] strong enough to conduct electricity, free flowing cocktails, the heady atmosphere of revolution.  Fidel, Che and Nikita were nowhere to be found that particular evening.  It was all very confusing and I […]

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